January 29, 2009

What to do for your Super Bowl party

Posted: 02:42 PM ET

Writer Keith

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while. With the holidays, a pregnant wife, a break-in to my house, making said house into Ft. Knox, and throwing my back out from laughing so hard after the Yankees gave $500 million to a guy who only pitches well in contract years, a first baseman that has never finished higher than 6th in the MVP race, and a pitcher who may hit 450 pounds before his contract is up, my plate has been full.

Keep your Super Bowl faux pas-free this year. Writer Keith tells you how!

I am not sure if you have heard it or not. but there is a pretty big football game this weekend. It's Super Bowl Sunday! From the game to the commercials to the Boss singing at halftime to the pre-game show that started sometime last Wednesday, most of you have some sort of plan for the game.

Some of you may head to a tavern to catch the game, but many of you will probably watch the game at your house or a friend's house. Well if you are headed to or hosting a Super Bowl Party, I have a list of what you can do to make your Sunday Super.

Make Football Squares and Make Ridiculous Sidebets
Now we here at the Morning Express do not condone bookmaking, but making simple bets with friends makes the game fun–even if your team isn't in the game. You know what I am talking about. It's a 10 by 10 grid of 100 squares. You sell each square for a buck, people put their name in the squares, you pick out numbers 0-9 at random for the two teams and after each quarter someone wins. We did this at my Uncle Pete's place for Super Bowl XXVIII. I ended up with Bills 3 and Dallas 6. After the 1st quarter it was Dallas 6 Bills 3. $25 for me. Then the Bills scored a touchdown in the 2nd quarter then kicked a field goal to go into the half Bills 13-10. Big winner again: ME!

Ridiculous sidebets are also fun. You can bet a friend on the coin toss, how long the national anthem will be, if Little Stevie Van Zandt will have a wardrobe malfunction...anything. It is always a pick-me-up, especially if the game stinks.

Gather Canned Goods, Bottled Water, and build a Panic Room
Sunday's game features the Pittsburgh Steelers against the Arizona Cardinals. The Arizona Cardinals. Let's put it this way: If the historically lousy Cardinals win in the same 12 month span as the Tampa Bay Rays go to the World Series, Mickey Rourke became an Oscar contender, Bret Michaels had so much trouble scoring with strippers in a house that he had to put them on a bus, and the New Kids on The Block released a new album, frogs may actually fall out of the sky. Didn't Nostradamus warn of this? I'm expecting my dog Barrett to fill out my tax return at this point.

Have themes at your party for both teams
When the Patriots were in the game, I made Clam Chowder. This year you could make faux Primanti Brothers sandwiches for the Steelers (a sandwich of meat, tomato, cole slaw, and french fries on thick Italian bread). I am not sure what the big food is out in Arizona, but if you wanted to give a shout out to many of it's residents you could pull your pants up to your armpits.

Make sure you know a little bit about the game, even if you hate football
Here's a crib sheet: "Big Ben" is the Steelers quarterback because it's easier to say than "Roethlisberger." The guy that is jumping 15 feet in the air to catch the ball on the Cardinals is Larry Fitzgerald. That guy with the big, bushy hair who is next to him is Troy Polamalu. He's been next to him since Fitzgerald pulled into the parking lot. And of course, if you've watched the show over the past three months, Rafer Weigel told you that the quarterback for Arizona Kurt Warner used to work in a grocery store. He also won a Super Bowl and played in another before this year, but I digress.

Make sure you have enough meat, snack treats, and booze.
Unless you are one of those creepy vegans or if you are on the wagon this is important. If you make too many meatballs, put them in the fridge and make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner the next night. If you run out of meat, good luck. To paraphrase Homer Simpson: If I went to a Super Bowl party and they ran out of meat I'd be like "Hey goober, where's all the meat?" Same goes for booze and snack treats. One little tip in class. If you go to a party with a six pack and you drink three, the three stay with the house. Sorry. Would you bring a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and walk out with half a bag. Your friends were nice enough to put you up, cheapskate.

So that's my list. I have no idea who is going to win this game. The NFL this year has been too wacky. Tyler Thigpen brought Senior Writer Jeff to the finals of our fantasy league, Chad Pennington won the Comeback Player of the Year for a 2nd time in three years, and people in New England thought for 5 seconds that we should trade Tom Brady. It's like bizzaro NFL season. So what are you doing for a perfect party? Everyone could use the help.

Posted by: super bowl, Writer Keith
Filed under: Extras • Sports

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Istockapotamus

January 29th, 2009 3:30 pm ET

Here's my list of items I need for the Super Bowl:

1. Beer.
2. Beer.
3. Beer.
4. Beer.
5. Beer Basted Pork Ribs.

okathleen

January 29th, 2009 7:18 pm ET

We'll be watching in leafy sleepy Cheshire in the UK, and we might even go mad and share a hot dog!!

http://www.okathleen.wordpress.com

Terry B aka The Rabbit

January 30th, 2009 8:05 am ET

Why is CNN acting like they are so surprised by the bonuses? This has been going on for so long. Then I hear Rudy Guliani this morning talk about how taking bonuses from Wall Street would hurt NYC. That is just a spin. Then NYC is the irresponsible one as well.

rocket

January 30th, 2009 9:05 am ET

I GO STREAKING

Mom

January 30th, 2009 10:08 am ET

Keith, The new term for "squares/football pool" is "probability squares". This was the announcement this morning at school. "Anyone interested in selecting from the probability square sheet for Sunday's event should come to the office, as soon as possible, as the squares were filling in quickly. " Do you think any of the students figured it out?? Hope you have a great Super Bowl. Rooting for the Cards with local boy Brian StPierre on the sidelines.

ericben

January 30th, 2009 11:19 am ET

I'm going to enjoy a great football game and forget everything untill monday!

Theresa

January 31st, 2009 11:53 am ET

With all due respect, gett Super Bowl over with so that we can go back to the really important business of naming the next KC Chiefs HC!

terri karczewski

January 31st, 2009 6:36 pm ET

I live in Beaver Falls, Pa, which is about 40 minutes away from Pittsburgh and like most of us from Pa, I am a Steeler nut. So, on Super Bowl Sunday, I really don't care what I eat, drink, sit on, talk to, watch the game with, etc. I Just care about one thing; that the Steelers win!!! I will be parked in my lazyboy recliner about 2 feet from the television with my remote, cigarettes and pepsi. I've even thought about going to the extreme of buying some adult diapers so I don't have to get up to go the bathroom, but that may be going a tad to far. I have scared to death most of my kids' friends when the Steelers play because sometimes they forget to tell them that I completely lose my mind when the Steelers play, and usually erupt with yelling, screaming, cursing, banging on the floor and walls, and just about anything else you can think of. When the Steelers won the last Super Bowl in 2005, I was actually sitting in my chair crying. My kids think I'm nuts buts that's ok. That's what makes Steelers' fans so unique. The team goes all out, and so do we!!!

Gerry

January 31st, 2009 10:55 pm ET

No party for me.
Like a lot of people working in health care it matters little which Sunday it is. Sure, we might get a chance now and then to catch some of those wild commercials, and the game, but for the most part it will be business as usual. l guess I'm rooting for the team whose score lands on one of my squares! That would be enjoyment enough for me.
For those of you that are able to enjoy it somewhere else, party on!

Becky

February 1st, 2009 4:50 pm ET

Can't wait to see the commercials during the Super Bowl. They're always good for a laugh and interesting conversation.

Russell

February 2nd, 2009 8:30 am ET

Has the Superbowl management decided to avoid women entertainers for the halftime show. My wife commented that this is another male entertainer and that there hasn't been a female since the J. Jackson wardrobe incident in Superbowl 38.

So I looked it up and sure enough:
XLIII – Springsteen
XLII – Tom Petty
XLI – Prince
XL – Stevie Wonder
XXXIX – Paul McCartney
XXXVIII – Janet Jackson

Interesting!!

MYSTICMUSE1966

February 2nd, 2009 10:13 am ET

After moving from Buffalo (sigh) and coming to Arizona, We were excited about another "Home" team in the Big Game. The Cards didn't win, but it was a great game...I smile as I look at the Janet Jackson thing on the blog...Guess here we beat that with our "pornbowl". Wow and I thought that there was a delay to avoid such things!

Writer Keith

February 2nd, 2009 2:32 pm ET

Gerry–I feel your pain. For those of us in the TV news business we know the reality that just because it's Christmas doesn't mean there is no news going on. As for the game: ok game, awesome 4th quarter. Two things: A) how was Santonio Holmes not given a penalty for his endzone celebration? He used the ball as a prop. B) Why wasn't the final play with Kurt Warner "fumbled" reviewed? Maybe he did, maybe he didn't but take a look. As for my "party" it was just me, my wife, and my dog at the house. We had 19-alarm chili (because my normal 25-alarm chili would have induced labor), cheese and salsa dip, mozzarella sticks, and bagel bites. Luckily this year I didn't have to yell at my in-laws to get the (blank) out of my house. I love them plenty, but I needed to sulk after the Pats loss alone. My dad did the same thing in 1986 after World Series Game 6.

carol lingfeld

February 2nd, 2009 8:01 pm ET

I want to thank Mike Galanos for his comments on his disappointment of the super bowl advertising. This is the first year I have watched- THE WHOLE THING-anticipating the great commercials I have always heard about, however, I thought that they were all terrible except for Budweiser. They were violent, sexy, and all showing activity that normally is unacceptable. Yes, What about our children? Were any of them a good example or something that would make me want to buy the product? -And Budweiser. Supposedly we don't want to make alcohol real attractive to our youth to form a bad habit. However, they were the best of the commercials.

Susan

February 3rd, 2009 8:09 am ET

Its hard to believe that there was a national uproar over janet jackson showing a nipple and this year 30 mins of porn was inadvertently shown on tv. Not much said about it. Why is that. Sexism, racism.. those are my takes on it.

Personally I dont watch the superbowl. Overpaid less than educated people throwing a ball. Woopie.

ashley morgan

February 3rd, 2009 4:02 pm ET

we had a pizza. then 19 people come to my home. we watch the games. and 10 boys bet on steeles. i bet on the steeles. 19 girl bet on other player. after the games. we in the pool.

Molly

February 4th, 2009 7:21 am ET

I only watch the Superbowl for the commercials...I hate football in general anyway. Plus, the half-time shows suck too...I mean, really...Bruce Springsteen – Great songwriter, horrible singer...I had to turn that portion because he was so out-of-tune I could not stand it! Sometimes I watch the half-time shows, but PLEASE...if you sing and are in front of millions, then sing IN TUNE!!

ken wilkie

February 4th, 2009 7:26 am ET

sit and wonder " what the $#$@ ever happend to my raidders!!!!!!!!

christie allison

February 12th, 2009 9:26 am ET

hi i was just wondering why Robin never "signs-off" after her portion of her show. she says "good morning" and "hi" every comercial break, but she never says "bye".

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